


Happy Hogan- Something About You

by Skellyagogo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, F/M, Female reader insert, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skellyagogo/pseuds/Skellyagogo
Summary: Written while listening to 'Something About You' by Bad Company
Kudos: 2





	Happy Hogan- Something About You

  


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Happy Hogan sat outside a quiet little cafe, a warm cup of coffee held in his hand as he smiled staring out into the city that never slept. The busy streets flooded with people hustling to and from on the sidewalk. The hum of engines idling at the traffic lights. Voices carrying in the air. Life on the streets of New York was alive and buzzing even that early in the morning hour. Looking back wondering just how he came to be at that spot at that moment. Wondering what exactly he’d done for his life to turn out the way it did.  
  
  
  
  
  


_“Who the hell are you and how did you get up here?” Happy scowled at the figure in the main living quarters kitchen._

_The hooded figure with it’s back to him hunched over the kitchen island. They were on the tall side, unlike the petite women he’d seen around the Tower before. Music from the party floors above wafting through the speakers anchored in the ceiling. The smell of beef, bean, and cheese hitting his nose. Did this intruder have the audacity to take and make food from the Avengers? His fists balled and ready to fight._

_Watching the figure slowly turn he was met with a sight that took his breath away. Gorgeous eyes behind black-rimmed glasses. She was holding a plate of burritos that slipped from her hand when she noticed him. A little yelp fled from her lips as the plate shattered on the floor._

_“Damn it,” she muttered, pulling down the hood of her sweatshirt and taking the earbuds out of her ears. Kneeling down picking up tiny shards of the porcelain plate, piling them on a larger piece._

_“W-who… who ar-re y-you?” Happy found himself stuttering. He hadn’t done that since he was a child._

_“Oh, I’m sorry,” she stood up wiping her hands on her sweatpants and holding her hand out for Happy to shake. “I’m Y/n, the newest member of Earth’s Mightiest Trouble Makers. Apparently, the party upstairs is my ‘Welcome’ party, but uh… too many people I don’t know so I snuck away.”_

_Her smile was gentle and kind and that little laugh of her’s at her own joke made his heart leap into his throat. An ethereal dream clad in sweats and an M.I.T. hooded sweatshirt. The grip of her handshake was heavy and strong in his own, not what he was expecting from the dream-like creature that stood before him._

_“Ba-badge,” he stammered unable to take his eyes off her. Firmly but clumsily still shaking her hand._

_“OH,” she grinned, hands fumbling over all her pockets in search of her ID. “You must be Happy. Tony’s talked about you, though you’re cuter than he described.”_

_Y/n handed him her badge but it slipped through his fingers. Both of them leaned over to pick it up off the floor at the same time, knocking their heads together and tumbling to the floor. Happy landing on his rump, his head throbbing. He’d felt as if he was slammed against a brick wall. Stars filled his vision, dancing around her. Y/n rubbing her forehead, her glasses askew._

_“He said I was cute?!” Happy groaned skeptically as he helped Y/n up off the floor._

_“No, well,” she blushed. “His exact words were, 'enormous pain in my ass and major buzzkill in an annoying puppy sort of way’ but puppies are cute, right?” Y/n chuckled._

_Something about the way she smiled. That tiny curl at the edge of her mouth. Happy wasn’t sure of much at that moment except a feeling of warmth that seemed to radiate through him. He stood still in silence, oblivious to the fact that she was still talking to him. He could see her lips moving, the crinkles around her eyes as she smiled. Happy was hooked and enamored beyond his control._

~~~~~

_Happy could see the party lights from the street below. The flashing and flickering of colors changing. Spotlights swirling and billowing into the clouds. He’d been away working security with Pepper on a deal overseas. The whole time he was gone he couldn’t wait to get back. Itching to see that goofy smile of hers._

_The elevator doors opened to loud music and throngs of people. Hearing the cheering and people going crazy. Fearing the worst, a repeat of the incident in Malibu years before. Happy pushed his way through the crowd and found Y/n and Tony having a dance-off, 90’s style in the center of the crowd. The Humpty Dance thumping through the speakers. Tony smirking thinking he’d won, but Y/n chuckled as she tied up her hair in a ponytail._

_Happy could see the slight tint of rosy hue on her cheeks, whether from dancing or having one too many. Tony seemed to be a bad influence on all those around him. Y/n pushed Tony out of her way and proceeded to backflip. The crowd erupted in awe as she unleashed vintage breakdancing skills she was way too young to know._

_She flipped and spun. Moves he couldn’t believe he remembered the names to flashing in his head. Happy watched her Swipe, spinning and flipping around the dance floor. Watched in a daze as she switched to the Helicopter. Palms planted on the floor as her legs swept around._

_Her body swirling in circles from her back to her shoulder. The Windmill, the name jumping forward in Happy’s mind from his younger days. Faster and faster she twirled until the top of her head was on the dance floor and her legs were straight in the air. Her arms angled out to her sides. The song came to an end as she laid on her side. Her knee bent up and over her leg and her head propped up on her palm as her elbow rested on the dance floor._

_“I concede,” Tony clapped laughing. “You win!”_

_Y/n was laughing, wiping the sweat from her brow as her eyes landed on a stunned Happy. Flipping up off the floor she sprinted towards him engulfing him in a hug. Her arms slipping under his and around his back. Her head nestled in the crook of his neck. He’d never experienced someone being that excited to see him. Never felt anyone holding him as tightly as she did. Glancing over her shoulder, Happy caught the sight of Tony’s smirk as he held Pepper close to his side._

_“How was your trip?” Y/n whispered. It was sounded so sweet in his ears, so endearing. Y/n truly seemed to care._

_'Was this what love felt like?’ Happy thought to himself._

_Was this how it was when someone genuinely wanted to be near you? When they missed you? It was like his body was reacting without thought. Happy let his head drift and lean against hers as he let out a silent sigh. His arms clumsily snaked their way around her shoulders as he squeezed her back._

_'God this feels good,’ he thought._

_Y/n pulled away and smiled. Tender and real and it did him in. A warmth that seemed to creep up from his toes and stretched upward. Inching out and wiggling its way throughout his body. It felt like he was sat beside a roaring bonfire and swaddled in a wool blanket. He liked it. Liked the euphoric way it made him feel._

_“I want to hear all about it,” she smiled. Her fingers linking around his, tugging him towards the sofas on the quieter end of the room._

_The way she sat on the sofa, her legs curled under her. How she had her body angled toward him. A flushed blushing face and curiously sparkling eyes staring back at him. A smile that was too unbelievably real and it was aimed at him. Y/n patted his knee bringing him out of his thoughts._

_“Did you find that little noodle shop I told you about?”_

_How could this woman be real? She had to be a dream. All of the men in that room and yet there she was, smiling as if he was the only man alive. Happy’s heart was pounding, rattling inside. He was waiting for some punchline, some joke or prank. Waiting for Stark to come waltzing up laughing, but nothing happened other than her curious smile._

_They’d only talked a few times since that first encounter in the kitchen, but each time he felt something fluttering deep within him. Something strange and foreign. His palms were sweaty and his throat was dry. Words seemed to jumble and mixed together when he tried to speak. She never laughed at him, only smiled sweetly and waited as he tried to compose himself._

_“I-I did,” he nodded letting a rare smile slide across his lips. “You were right,” he allowed himself to relax and chuckle. “Best damned Pho I’ve ever had.”_

_Y/n leaned into the back of the couch, resting her palm on her cheek. Happy couldn’t believe his luck. This gorgeous woman giving him her undivided attention. Not once did she glance away. Curiously and giddily, Y/n smiled at him so sweetly. Part of him was still guarded, waiting for the other shoe to drop. As if the moment Captain America walked by, her eyes would wander his way, but she only seemed to have eyes for him and he didn’t know why._

_“How about sightseeing? Did you have a lot of time for that?” The way she spoke. How those words dripped off her tongue. Her attention and focus solely on him._

_“No,” he shook his head glancing around the room, catching sight of Tony and Pepper grinning watching them closely. “Not enough time this trip. I was lucky to get a moment to find that noodle shop.”_

_“Aww,” she frowned, her hand fell on his shoulder in slight disappointment. “Maybe next time. Hey,” she sat up with a giggly grin. “Maybe I could talk my way into going next time and make sure you can get see some cool stuff. All work and no play isn’t a good way to live, ya know.”_

_“Ye-yeah… maybe,” but part of him couldn’t believe something like that would ever happen. Things like that never seemed to happen to guys like him._

_“Ooh, I almost forgot,” her excitement had her bouncing on the cushion of the sofa. “Ex-boxer right,” she grinned lightly poking his chest. “Well I know it’s not exactly the same but there’s this big UFC hoopla going on this weekend and I thought… maybe if you’re free…”_

_“Yes!” The word torpedoed out his mouth before he could stop himself._

_“Yeah?!” She bit her lip with wide eyes that looked almost doubtful like she was afraid he’d change his mind._

_“Yeah,” he returned a nervous smile, rubbing the back of his neck. Fingers crossed he could talk Stark into a night off._

_“Good,” Y/n blushed nibbling on her bottom lip. “Friday night then, me and you… unless I get dragged away to save the world that is.”_

~~~~~~~

_Just Y/n’s luck, she’d been pulled away on a mission and they weren’t flying back quick enough for her liking. A little bruised and battered, but she anxiously bounced in her seat. She didn’t want to be late, didn’t want Happy to think she was standing him up. Her nerves were on edge worse now than while battling Hydra. Jumping out of her seat and pacing the cargo bay of the Quinn._

_“Can’t this thing go any faster?” Y/n huffed biting her nails standing behind Clint and Natasha._

_“We’re going Mach 3, Y/n,” Nat raised an eye at her questioning. “Any faster and we just might rip apart.”_

“ _Hot date?” Clint snickered from the pilot’s seat._

_“Kinda… maybe… sorta… I don’t know,” Y/n rambled nervously staring sheepishly at the floor._

_“Wait?” Steve turned in his seat eyeing Y/n confused. “You don’t know if you have a date, but you’re in a hurry to get home?” Tony was laughing through the comms system flying ahead of the Quinn._

_“Oh, she’s got a hot date alright,” Tony’s cocky smirk was heard through his laughter. “According to the video feed, he’s doing just as much pacing as you are Y/n. It’s cute, no really. I gotta say though, aren’t you a little out of his league?”_

_“Funny,” Y/n hissed back. “I’ve asked Pepper the same thing jackass.”_

_Y/n’s hair was still damp as she raced through the halls of the Tower. Skidding to a stop in front of the elevators nearly bowling into Happy himself. She found herself frozen in place staring at him. Gone was the suit and tie, in favor of a more casual look. It was his well worn in faded blue jeans and sneakers that had her grinning shyly._

_“Wow,” he sputtered nervously._

_He’d never seen her with makeup before, but what stood before him was something new. Y/n looked beautiful without it, but now… he doubted anyone’s eyes would be on the fighters after catching sight of her._

_“What?” She looked down at her clothes uneasily. Y/n had a nervous tick that Happy noticed during their first encounter, tucking her hair behind her ear. Even if there wasn’t a loose strand she seemed to do it out of habit._

_While Y/n had been in the shower, someone and Y/n suspected Nat, had cleaned out all of her clothing from her dressers and her closet except for a cute little floral dress that was left on her bed. Dark blue soft cottony material covered in red and white flowers. The dress stopped just above her knees. Cream lace rimmed around the bottom hem and near the neckline creating almost a peek-a-boo look. Something that said 'yes I have cleavage but not like I’m willingly going to let you stare at it’. Y/n was just thankful that Nat had left her a pair of flats to wear with it instead of heels._

_“Y-you l-look good… I mean great,” Happy stammered rubbing the back of his neck. “I feel really underdressed now.”_

_“I think you look good…er handsome.” Y/n’s cheeks flooded in shades of red. “I appreciate a good suit, but,” the smirk that spread over her mouth. “There’s just something about a nice pair of jeans.”_

_Happy didn’t remember much of the fights in the ring. He was more enamored watching Y/n. She was so animated bouncing in her seat. Her fists balled up and arms mimicking hits in the ring. Sitting on the edge of her seat wrapped up in the fights. Turning towards him grinning expecting his focus to be on the match in the middle of the ring, instead, Y/n caught him staring with a flushed boyish grin._

_“You know,” she leaned in close to his ear so he could hear over the noise of the crowd. “You’re quite attractive when you smile like that.”_

_Happy flushed and rolled his eyes staring at the ground of the arena. Something about her just did something to him. He felt like he was floating on Cloud Nine with the way she looked at him. The way her eyes sparkled when she smiled. Despite all of that, he still had a self-deprecating response readied to answer with when he saw her inching her face closer._

_The scent of her perfume overtaking the smells of the arena, the popcorn, and beer fading away. Her scent lingered in the air between them. His eyes slowly moving towards hers. It happened so fast. One blink and she was smiling at him, the next he felt velvety soft lips on his. He watched her close her eyes the longer they kissed. Gentle and tender, not even the roar and ruckus in the arena as the underdog had beaten the champ made them stop._

_All thoughts, all words escaped him as she fluttered open her eyes pulling away. Licking her lips with a bashful smile. Left speechless as she grinned leaning her head on his shoulder. Happy didn’t know what the hell he did but damned if he didn’t do something right to deserve that. All was well until he looked up at the Jumbotron and saw the two of them on the screen. Stark would surely have seen that on tv and wouldn’t ever let him live it down._

~~~~~

_There were movie dates and dinners around the city, nothing ever fancy. All the poshness of it all wasn’t Y/n’s sort of thing. She liked all the little hidden places, the diners, and dives. The hole in the wall spots that made most people turn away without a second glance because of the rough exterior. Those were the places that always seemed to have the best food, the coldest beer, and music when it was actual music._

_Happy always felt like he was on the cusp of waking up from a dream staring at her from across the table while they were out on a date. Seeing that blush flood her cheeks when she caught him staring. The flutter in her eyes and the way she’d bite her lip trying not to smile too widely. The sound of the flustered sigh that she’d try to hide with a cough or a nervous laugh when he’d take her hand in his._

_She was too delightfully cute for her own good. Long walks in the park with her arms snug around his, her head on his shoulder. Conversations that never seemed to end that lasted into the early dawn hours. Watching sunsets and sometimes sunrises on the observation deck of the Tower._

_Y/n would snuggle close to him. Sneak her body under his arm leaving him no choice but to eagerly amuse her by holding her close. She liked to lay her ear over his chest listening to his heartbeat. Sometimes they’d sit in silence for hours that way. Content in the simplicity of it all. It was a night like that when he blurted it out for the first time, those three little words._

_They were laid out on a lounge chair staring up into the midnight sky. The sounds of the city far below nothing but white noise compared to the thundering pounding inside his chest. Like always, Y/n just smiled and listened to the rapid beat echoing within his chest. The rest of the Tower’s occupants had either already gone to bed or were trying to steer clear of the Observation deck altogether._

_Happy was frazzled and on edge. There had been too many times recently he’d wanted to say it, but he kept it to himself. He kept thinking it was too soon, too early in the relationship to even bring it up at all. A couple of months that somehow felt like a blissful lifetime and still those words weren’t spoken._

_He was afraid, afraid that if spoke them out loud that things would change. As if they were the words to break a spell and that Y/n would awaken from a walking slumber and resent the last few months. Afraid that she wouldn’t feel the same, that deep down it wasn’t anything more than two people that were scared to be alone._

_Her cheek rested heavily on his chest, rising and falling each time he took a breath. Her legs draped over his, her fingers lazily playing a loose button on his suit jacket. She could feel him tensing, his body waning from rigid to relaxed. Sitting up in his lap curiously, her eyes drifting over his like she was trying to peer into his very soul._

_Gulping a shallow breath as she cupped his face, leaning her forehead to his. Her breath was sweet like the Raspberry Tootsie Pop she’d finished moments before. Soft lips slightly sticky from its sugary goodness pressed to his. How in the hell … what did he do in a past life to deserve such tenderness?_

_“I love you.”_

_The words tumbled quickly and shakily out of his mouth between kisses. Y/n stopped mid-kiss and pulled back. Her face was unreadable, suddenly devoid of anything. Happy stared in a panic as she tilted her head to the side. He watched the crinkle form between her brows._

_Thinking it was all over with a slip of three little words he almost missed the smile spreading from ear to ear. Part of him just couldn’t bear to see a look of rejection on her so he tried to stare at a piece of fuzz on her sweatshirt. His eyes twitching and furrowing the longer he stared at it._

_“Hap,” her thumbs playing the scruff of his goatee, but he couldn’t make eye contact. “Harold, look at me, please.” Hesitantly he obliged, meeting her gaze._

_“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t…”_

_“I love you too.”_

_He heard her speak, heard the words as they dripped like honey from her mouth. Closing his eyes, gently thumping his forehead to hers, he smiled._

_“Say it again,” he whispered._

_“I love you.”_

_“Once more.” His heart was racing, thumping against her chest, his arms tightening their hold around her._

_“I love you! I love you! I love…”_

_The kiss he laid upon her was desperate and needy. A lifetime of wanting to hear those words spoken to him. Years of longing and hoping for something like this, of finding someone like her. A woman that made him see all the things he’d been missing in his life. Happy couldn’t help but grin feeling melt into him, curving her body into his._

~~~~~~

_All good things come to end at some time, it was just a matter of when. The last few months had been too good to be true. Content and finally in a relationship, but there was just something that wasn’t sitting right with Happy. He felt like there was an unseen force on the horizon and nothing good would come from it. Maybe it was because Y/n had been keeping a secret, afraid if he knew the truth. Well, maybe Happy wouldn’t love her anymore._

_Happy saw the news footage of Sokovia with the Avengers battling Ultron and his army of bots. He watched speechless from Pepper’s office at Stark Industries as a camera had captured Y/n’s transformation. Through the television screen as the shimmer took hold. Sparkling lights shined off her skin. Everything about her was a brilliant diamond._

_Y/n’s bones when in that form hardened and turned into organic metal giving her immense strength. Her skin shimmered and glinted as it changed. Coated head to toe in an organic Diamond-like substance. All that time he’d thought she was just like Romanoff or even Barton, just a trained fighter skilled enough for the Avengers. He wasn’t expecting to see his lover changing completely before his eyes._

_Helplessly, Happy watched as bots surrounded her, engulfing her fighting. Chaos and destruction all around her. People screaming and running for their lives. The other Avengers in the background fighting them off in droves. His knees gave out as he fell to the ground thinking he was about to watch her die. Pepper beside him collectively losing her own mind worrying about Tony. Pepper’s hand clutched tightly on Happy’s shoulder._

_It was then it seemed as if a tiny explosion had been set off where Y/n stood. Shrapnel of metal from the robots sprinkling down all around where Y/n kneeled. Her head down, shoulders, and chest heaving in wrathful rage. Pepper gasped seeing Y/n look towards the camera. A mixture of emotions forming in that diamond-like face. Anger, fear, panic._

_Both Happy and Pepper breathed a sigh of relief watching her bellowing at the cameraman to run, but he swore he saw her mouth the words 'I’m sorry’ at the camera before the cameraman bolted still filming as he ran._

_Robots tried attacking her again, flanking on all sides only to fall to pieces with each punch, each kick. She raced through the streets saving all those she could. Carrying those that couldn’t walk on their own to the waiting evac ships. There were bullets and cars flying, any manner of weapon was used against Ultron’s robots._

_Happy felt the life sucked right out of him seeing Y/n charging right in the pathway of bullets. Covering a young man with silver hair, Barton and a child Clint was attempting to shield with his own body. Happy couldn’t breathe seeing the bullets hitting her. Seeing the sparks of light as they hit. Y/n stood growling, snarling, waving her arms at her sides doing her best to keep the bullets from hitting anything living. Soon the picture faded to black as the city rose higher in the sky._

~~~~~~~

_Y/n tried to avoid Happy at all costs as soon as she and the rest of the team were safely back in the Tower. She was ashamed and filled with fear. She’d been rejected by so many others through the years as soon as they found out her little secret. Y/n had become too used to heartbreak and pain when her secret was revealed. She did everything she could to not use those abilities unless it was a dire situation, but now the world had seen her._

_Seen the face of the person she tried in vain to hide. World leaders were already clamoring to place blame where they could and she seemed like the most likely of targets. Tribunals and court appearances were in the works so they could make her feel less than human. Question why she didn’t stop Ultron in the first place when he made his appearance at Stark Tower. Why didn’t she end it all before all that suffering? All her fears were coming to fruition._

_Y/n hid, locked away in her room. Too afraid to know if Happy had seen her like that. She was too scared to face the fact that he couldn’t love her anymore. There weren’t any like her in the world and because of that she tried to keep herself hidden for so long. Tried to stay out of the public’s eye, but she could only stand by and see so much destruction before she’d made herself known._

_Fury had discovered her by accident after she’d saved a group of school children. Their bus was stalled along a highway during a snowstorm. The blizzard in near white-out conditions that the semi-truck couldn’t see the flares or the flashing lights until it was almost too late._

_Footage recovered from the wreckage showed a being stepping into the path of the truck annihilating it. Shards of metal and debris rained down in the snow. Grey specks littered the blinding white ground. Shrill screams of frightened children behind her. The red flashing lights and the fire of the flares glittered off her skin as it shimmered. Glinting in that pale light like the brightest diamond._

_General Thaddeus Ross wanted her locked up in The Raft. The memo was sent out through S.H.I.E.L.D and all military communications before the fight in Sokovia were even over. He wanted her out of the eye of the public. Out of sight before anyone else could get their hands on her, but truth be told, he really wanted to study her. Extract what she was, what made her that way so it could mass-produced and used in soldiers._

_Happy paced in front of her door. His hand kept raising in an attempt to knock but he couldn’t find the courage. He was upset and angry. Hurt that she’d kept a secret from him for so long. He kept kicking himself knowing it had all been too good to be true, but as mad as he was he just needed to see if she was alright. He pounded on her door fixed in determination, one way or another he had to know._

_“Go away, Tony!”_

_Happy felt the door rattle as something was thrown against it with force. Sounds of an unknown object shattering as it rained down to the floor. It was the sniffling and the crack in her voice that quieted his anger. Listening in at the door he could hear her crying. Hear the rage and the pain._

_“Y/n,” he wasn’t even sure what to say._

_What do you say to someone you love when you watched them almost die on a television screen? What do you say to the person you’d given your heart to when they lied to you? What possible words could he utter?_

_“Just leave,” she whimpered from the other side of the door. “Everyone leaves when they find out. I’m a FREAK!”_

_“Sweetheart, please, open the door.”_

_“Go… just… go Hap.”_

_He’d never heard her sound so defeated. Every word she spoke was the epitome of sadness and sorrow. Not a hint of that sarcastic bubbly personality he loved so much. Y/n was choking back a heart-wrenching sob and he’d heard enough. As pissed off as he should have been feeling, it was nothing like the guilt of not being able to hold her in her moment of weakness._

_“Y/n, either open the door or I swear on all of Stark’s tech that I’ll break this shit down.”_

_He watched the shadow under her door move, heard the locks clicking, but he wasn’t prepared to see her like that. Puffy red eyes, cheeks flooded in tears. Her hair was a mess of tangled strands. Tissues littered her floor. Her whole room looked as if it was ransacked. Broken furniture strewn all over, a knife stuck into the flat screen tv that once hung on her wall._

_Y/n stood staring at the floor, brushing tears away with the back of her hand. She just couldn’t bring herself to look at him, a feeling he knew all too well. Happy was gutted seeing the state of her, the fear and rage, that familiar look of self-hatred clinging to her features._

_“Tell me it’s over and go,” she sniffed picking at her nails._

_“No.”_

_“I’m a freak!!” She cried out in agony stomping her foot on the carpeted floor sending a quake throughout._

_“Y/n,” her name whispered off his lips as he took a step towards her._

_Her emotions were swimming, drowning her whole. He stood and stared watching her body shimmer and change. Her appearance was changing so rapidly, uncontrollably as she broke down crying. Rushing forward trying to calm that storm that was her. Cupping her face, seeing her eyes flicker like diamonds looking anywhere but him._

_“Stop, please,” he begged catching her off-guard._

_“Tell me you hate me,” her voice cracked, her chest sputtering and heaving trying to catch her breath._

_“No, I can’t.”_

_Y/n crumbled against him, her head knocking softly into his chest. Wracked with guilt, she cried. Wailed and sobbed, murmured 'I’m sorry’ muffled in his shirt as she clung to him. There was just something about her. She made him care, made him scared, made him question everything but his love for her. This was all new territory for him, he’d never been this deep into a relationship. Never gotten so far in to discover he had something to lose._

_“I don’t care,” pulling away peering in her eyes, making her look at him. “I don’t care about what you are or what you can do.” Shaking his head, furrowing his brows. Worry lines heavy on his forehead. “I thought… I thought I was gonna have to watch you die.”_

_“I’m sorry Hap…”_

_Silencing her apologies, kissing her senseless. Leaving her weak in the knees for a different reason._

_“I love you damn it. I’m not going anywhere, Y/n.”_

~~~~~~~

_Y/n had known about Peter Parker for a year before the rest of them, before Tony. Y/n had spotted him around Queens and brought him to Tony’s attention. She thought he’d be a great asset but it turned out to be the beginning of Happy’s nightmare. If Y/n had known that Tony was going to use the kid in a fight, she would have left him alone. If she could only have known what was to come._

_In the midst of the signing Accords fiasco, Y/n had sided with Cap. It had put Happy into a position he never thought he’d be in. Having to choose between Y/n and Tony. She made the choice for him with a pained smile. Told him that she was doing what she felt was right, what felt right in her heart._

_“I know you probably can’t understand, but I’ve seen what Governments can do. I’ve seen the crimes and atrocities they’ve made people like me commit and all in the name of World Peace. I can’t do that. I won’t be controlled by someone like that ever again.”_

_“Just…” pulling her into him, he hid his fear in the crook of her neck. “Promise me … I love you no matter what, remember that.”_

_The night before the fight in Berlin, Y/n had risked it all just to see Happy. He ended up in charge of bringing Parker to Berlin to fight. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling wishing superheroes had never existed. Wondering if he still would have met Y/n. He just wanted a normal life that included Y/n somewhere in the countryside away from the rest of the world. Closing his eyes sighing, hating all of this, he heard the sliding door that led to his balcony opening._

_“You shouldn’t be here,” he whispered afraid to say her name outloud, the walls were paper thin and who knew what the kid would do. Maybe he’d call Tony and then what? Another fight? Y/n was foolish enough to risk it all and just for him._

_“Hap,” she sounded exhausted._

_He felt the bed dip beside him, the heaviness as she laid her head on his chest. Y/n exhaled draping an arm around him, nuzzling closer. It was the first time in too long that either of them felt whole. She’d been on the run since Peggy Carter’s funeral with Steve and Sam. He knew the following day could end badly, knew that he might never see her again._

_“I miss you.” Her voice sounded tired and weary and it broke every last bit of strength in him that he clung to._

_“We could leave, disappear. Go off the radar and start over where no one knows who we are.” He knew it was a pipe dream. That it wasn’t possible._

_“If only.” Her smile was faint. “My face, both of them have been plastered all over the news since Sokovia. There isn’t anywhere to go that someone wouldn’t know me.”_

_“I-I just…” the sigh that left his mouth said more than words. He hated all of this, hated the way the world saw her. Hated the way Tony spoke about her like she was nothing more than the dirt beneath his feet because she didn’t agree with him._

_“I better go,” she sat up gazing down at him. “I’ve already stayed too long.”_

_“Just…” Happy opened his eyes and sat up on the bed._

_His fingers tracing over her jaw, watching the way she closed her eyes leaning into his touch. Happy could see the dewiness around her eyes, the tiny trail of tears that slipped out. He watched gutted and helpless as her lip quivered. The flexing muscles in her jaw as she clenched her teeth to keep from sobbing._

_“I can’t bring you down with me Hap, but I have to do what…” her voice trembled and cracked._

_“I know,” pulling her close leaving a soft kiss on her lips. “Whatever happens…” holding her face in his palms. “I love you.”_

_“Love you more,” she smiled kissing him back before disappearing out the window._

_In the end, after that fight, Happy left Tony and worked solely for Pepper. He was angry and frustrated at Tony. Couldn’t fathom how he could so willingly tear apart the team, the first family he’d had in years. Tony Stark, the man that had yet to suffer the consequences of his actions. The man whose ego knew no bounds, always thought he was right even when he wasn’t._

_Happy inadvertently turned his disdain on Parker after Berlin. He ignored him, refused to answer his calls or texts. He needed someone to blame and Parker was caught in the crosshairs. Happy just wanted to be with Y/n but she was on the run with Cap having been declared an 'Enemy of the State’. The love of his life was off who knows where. He wouldn’t even have known that she was alive if it wasn’t for the occasional text from unknown numbers with the same message._

'Badge ❤💘’

_It was the only thing that gave him some glimmer of hope that someday this would all end. That she could come home to him. That she was alive. They kept coming in sporadic spurts until there was nothing and he felt as if he died. He couldn’t bear the thought, but then Tony was lost with Parker in a Circular spaceship above the city of New York. Everything around Happy was falling apart, life was circling around the drain and he didn’t know what to do to stop it._

~~~~~

_Dust, ashes that floated along with the breeze. The battlefield was littered with piles upon piles of ashes that scattered with the wind. Y/n was ferocious and uncontrollable. Screaming and fighting, annihilating what came in her pathway. Steve caught glimpses of her throughout the fight. Heard her voice cussing out aliens as she tore them apart. Watched in awe as the sunlight glinting off her Diamond skin confused and dazed Thanos’ soldiers._

_It all happened so fast, Steve didn’t realize what was happening. Bodies fading and crumbling to the ground. Stunned faces and faint cries of terror were replaced with nothingness. Y/n just happened to find herself in his eye line. He watched it start from the tips of her boots and flicker upward. The panic in her eyes._

_“Steve! Tell Happy I lov-” but it was too late, Y/n was gone like a puff of smoke and ash billowing towards the sky._

_It was Steve that risked it all after Thanos had made his presence known in Wakanda to tell Happy what happened. He was battered and battle-worn standing outside Happy’s apartment door. A dead weary look in his eyes as he told him what they pieced together after it all happened. How Thanos had snapped his fingers and half the world disappeared._

_Steve slumped onto the couch burying his head in hands quietly angry. Whispering through clenched teeth how many they’d lost. How unprepared they were for what Thanos could do. Steve thought his strength and fury was enough. That he could kill the Mad Titan, but he’d never been so wrong in his life. He couldn’t save anyone. He let himself go, let himself grieve for the first time in years. Let the tears stream down his face. Let the emotions swallow him whole._

_“Y/n?”_

_Steve couldn’t look at Happy. Shaking his head biting back the words he dreaded having to speak. Harold Hogan felt the breath get sucked right out of him. Stumbling across his living room, rubbing his hand over his mouth. Not willing to believe it. He wouldn’t believe she was gone, she just couldn’t be._

_A madness Happy had never experienced before rushing throughout him. An icy cold throbbing swelling and growing inside. His fist balled up tight and smashed into the wall. Over and over he beat into the drywall. Crumbling bits and dusty debris surrounded him. Punching and screaming until his knuckles bled. Bellowing out her name until he couldn’t speak, until the tears clouded his vision and he crumbled to the floor._

_Happy grieved in silence after that night. He never spoke a word to another soul. Never utter so much as a sound. He was angry at the world, the Universe, and mostly Tony. He hated him with every fiber of his being. The only time he spoke in all those years was when Tony finally made his way home with the help of yet another alien that Happy loathed, he didn’t feel anything other than numbness._

_Pepper was beside herself, crying and running towards Tony, holding him tight. She muttered and wailed, telling him she loved him over and over as she clutched him so. Everyone seemed so ecstatic to see him alive, everyone but Happy. None of them would have expected Harold Hogan to act out like he did and it surprised them all._

_Stalking towards him soundlessly, not a hint of emotion on his face. Not a smile or a tear of joy seeing his old friend. Instead, Happy pulled back his fist and punched Tony with all he had square in his jaw. Happy watched Tony slump to the ground holding his face as Steve held him back. All that resentment and wrath rearing it’s ugly head as he struggled against Steve’s grip prompting Rhodey to hold him back as well._

_“It’s all_ **_YOUR FAULT!_ ** _” Happy hissed through clenched teeth. Spitting and infuriated seeing Tony getting his fairytale ending with his girl. Why should Stark get that ending? What did Stark always get his way? “Y/n’s gone because of you!”_

_“I lost the kid!” Tony gasped affronted at the assault._

_“I don’t care!!_ **_I LOST Y/N!!_ ** _” Pulling himself away from Steve and Rhodey getting into Tony’s face. “I was going to propose and now… this is all on you and your ego!_ **_YOU_ ** _built those robots!_ **_YOU_ ** _created Ultron. Your_ **_BULLSHIT_ ** _brought Thanos here with your goddamned tinkering and your fucking_ **_EGO!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!_ ** _”_

~~~~~~

_Five long years, five years Happy spent grieving Y/n. The world around him seemed to want to move on but he never could. The survivors had given up hope and gone on with their lives. Those that were left splintered off, scattered to the four corners of what was left on Earth. After the first month, she was gone he couldn’t stand to be alone anymore. Staring at the empty walls of his apartment. He tried to push himself into work, but with everyone gone nothing mattered anymore._

_He pulled up to the Compound with a trunk full of boxes. Natasha met him at the front doors with a solemn smile, she knew why he was there. She hefted more boxes in her arms and followed behind him. Walking in silence through the empty halls, their footsteps echoing in the cavernous building. Standing in front of a door he hadn’t glimpsed in ages. A shaky hand poised over a doorknob as he pushed it open._

_The room looked just as she had left it. Clothes scattered on the floor from when she had hastily packed before she’d gone on the run with Steve and Sam. Pictures of her smiling face surrounded by the others hung on her walls. Her smell, her familiar scent smacking him in the face. It was like a sucker punch in the gut as Happy let out a shaky breath. The folded boxes slid from his grasp as he slumped on her bed._

_His eyes caught sight of the silly little bear he’d won for her on a spur of the moment date at a carnival. Neon pink and purple fur with lime green glassy eyes stared back at him from its perch on her nightstand. Reaching over for the bear with trembling hands, Happy accidentally knocked the remote to Y/n’s stereo to the floor. Bouncing and flipping, the rubber buttons colliding with a sneaker beside her bed._

_The speakers roaring to life playing a song that devastated him to his soul. It just had to be that song, the first song he remembered dancing with her too. Soft drums and a guitar in classic rock love ballad form. Happy broke down sobbing. Hanging his head, hiding his misery in his hands. His whole body quivering through choking cries._

_**I’ve only known what it is to be lonely** _

**_When into my life, you came walking through_ **

_**Can this be real, I don’t know what I’m feeling** _   
  


**_Ooh, there’s something 'bout you_ **   
  


_**And I can’t believe the way that you know me** _

_**You sense every mood, ooh you know when I’m blue** _

_**But here in my heart, ooh there’s mixed up emotions** _   
  


**_Ooh, there’s something 'bout you_ **   
  


_**I never wanted anybody, and I won’t start now** _

_**I never planned it, I don’t understand it, so tell me what can I do** _

**_Don’t turn away, ooh I think I’m still learning_ **   
  


**_Yeah, there’s something 'bout you_ **   
  


_**Ooh, here in my heart, ooh there’s mixed up emotions** _   
  


**_But there’s something 'bout you_ **

_**You know there’s something 'bout you** _

_**There’s something 'bout you, you came shining through, babe** _

_**Now there’s something 'bout you, I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m feeling** _

_**There’s something 'bout you, I don’t know, I don’t know** _

**_Yeah there’s something 'bout you_ **

****

_Happy lost himself, he didn’t know what the point in anything was anymore, not without her. Why wake up in the morning if she wasn’t there with a sleepy smile? Why speak if she wasn’t there to listen to his rambling rants? What was the point in taking care of himself if she wasn’t there? He was numb and just so damned tired of feeling empty._

_Natasha knew there wasn’t anything that she could say. Nothing at that point could or would make any difference. The only thing she could do was grab the packing tape and assemble the boxes. One after another she opened and packed everything that was Y/n into the boxes. Every memory, each token, and knick-knack, all of it carefully packaged and boxed away._

_Natasha kneeled in silence gathering all of Y/n’s life into boxes. The tortured anguish that wafted off Happy tore at Natasha. Hearing the pain and the regret as he fumbled with a tiny black box in his hands. Turning the velvety cube over and over unable to look inside._

_He’d carried it in his pocket, always with him. He’d been waiting for a perfect moment, but then all hell broke loose. Sokovia and Ultron. The Winter Soldier and the Accords. It was like his life was some cosmic joke. Like he was living life from the outside looking in. Seeing the rest of the world finding that happily ever after and him only ever getting a glimpse. Y/n had changed all that. She had given him love and hope. Now she was lost and Happy didn’t think he’d ever get her back._

~~~~~~

_Rushing from the city. Heading miles upstate to the Compound after seeing the ships in the skies. Happy’s gut was telling him something. He felt like he was being pulled, directed, so he drove until he saw it. The driveway was long gone, nothing but rubble, smoke, and fire. The Compound in the distance obliterated. Destruction everywhere he looked._

_Stumbling through the debris he caught the tail end of the fight. Witnessed the sleight of hand from Stark and the deception of Y/n as she took the makeshift Gauntlet from Tony. Harold Hogan watched in horror as Y/n flipped off the steroid using looking, purple giant._

_“Fuck you asshole!” She spat. Blood trickling from the corner of her mouth as she struggled to stand. Her diamond-like skin flickering like a lightbulb about to burn out. Snapping her fingers sneering, staring at Thanos._

_Her screams, bright light. Awful tormented cries. Alien bodies fading and turning to dust. Y/n screaming in pain crumbling to the ground. Her diamond skin flashing and waning as it shimmered. The arm that held the Gauntlet and the Infinity Stones cracking, shattering like glass. Flecks of diamond-like shards falling to the ground. The arm that held the Gauntlet was no more._

_Coughing and gasping for breath, she crawled towards a large chunk of cement, a bit of the Compound that was left after Thanos’ rain of destruction. Slumping against the support she cried. Wailing in pain while the rest of them gathered their wits about them. Happy sprinted towards her._

_“It hurts!” Her sobs tearing through the air, interrupting the victory cheers of the others. “Hap it fuckin’ hurts.”_

_Choking for breath, her good arm grasping, clawing onto his jacket as he knelt before her. Darkened lines crept up her neck. Worming and inching its way through her body, over her flesh. She’d never truly known pain before, her abilities had blocked and prevented those receptors from firing inside her brain. The color draining from her eyes._

_“Hey, hey, look at me Y/n.” He was winging it, he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was she was in agony and it had to stop. “TONY!”_

_Movements behind him, hasty footsteps running his direction. Battered and weary bodies encircled him and Y/n. She was gasping for breath, clutching onto his arm. The terror and panic in her eyes._

_“Marry me,” she coughed._

_“What?!”_

_“If I’m going to die, I wanna go as Mrs. Hogan.”_

_“That’s not funny,” his voice croaked. "Don’t talk like that, you’re gonna be fine.“_

_He was breaking down, tears wetting his face. His hands trembled cupping her cheeks, thumbs wiping away dirt and blood. She looked just the same. Five long years and they hadn’t been kind to him, but Y/n she was just as he remembered._

_"Thor’s a god, he can do it.” Struggling to sit up, craning her head in search of the blonde god. “THOR!”_

_“If we can get her to my lab, what’s left of it. I think I can help.” The youthful voice he’d never heard before ringing in his ears. Turning to see a young woman standing beside the King of Wakanda and Tony._

_“I’m not going anywhere until I’m married!” Defiant and stubborn as always._

_“Stop, just stop.” Hap pleaded, wiping the blood from the corner of her mouth. “We can do all that when you’re better.”_

_“Promise?” Her voice was fading, her eyelids getting heavy. Y/n was straining to keep her eyes open. Everything felt like it was on fire. Like pins and needles, like jagged daggers were poking and slicing into her. Jabbing over and over._

_“I haven’t been carrying this damned thing around in my pocket for years because I like to get jammed in the side.” Hap retorted gruffly, making her laugh through her pain. Pulling out the box, slipping the silver band on her finger._

_“I lov…” but Y/n slipped into darkness._

_It all happened so fast, his mind reeling. Her lifeless body slumped in the arms of the King of Wakanda. A bright orange circle, swirling and churning, opening a doorway to someplace else. Someone kept talking to him, their voice echoing in his ear, but he didn’t understand a thing. He felt someone guiding him through the orange portal, but everything after that was a blur for a very long time._

_Weeks she spent in a coma and he never left her side. He read to her as she slept, talked to her as if she were awake, until the day she did. Months of physical therapy and Happy was there every step of the way. Y/n struggled to adjust to her new life, but he never let her give up. He was in her corner at every turn._

~~~~~~

  
  


It was the giddy little squeal that brought him out of his thoughts, out of his memories. A tiny little blur, as quick as a rocket racing towards him. A little ball of energy, laughing and shrieking as she leaped onto his lap and wrapped her chubby little arms around his neck.

“Daddy!”

Her voice was just as soft and musical as her mother’s. His daughter had his dark hair and deep brown eyes, but everything else was just like Y/n. She was going to grow up to be a looker like her mom and he was dreading that moment. Dreading the day a boy came knocking at his door for her first date.

Happy laughed remembering the day he’d come home from work and Y/n sat motionless on the couch in the darkness. He was so scared that something was wrong, but the instant she noticed his presence she looked at him with tears in her eyes and the biggest grin. It was just supposed to be a routine check-up that she had that day. Tony wanting to see how the prosthetic was working for her when F.R.I.D.A.Y. had done a scan. The results of that scan sat in his lap squeezing the hell out of his neck and rambling about her day. 

“Sorry bout that,” Y/n chuckled a few steps behind. “She saw you from down the street and couldn’t help herself. She missed you.”

His attention drifted from that of his daughter to his wife. Calling her that still made him as emotional now as it did the day they finally said 'I do’. A dreamy little smile sat crookedly on Y/n’s mouth as if she could see his thoughts. Black rimmed glasses perched at the edge of her nose. Y/n bent down kissing his cheek as their daughter made grossed out noises at their affection. Standing beside him with her hand on her hip, the glint of the metal prosthetic arm shining brightly in the autumn sunlight.  
  
Everything had changed after that fight with Thanos. Y/n had lost an arm and almost lost her life. The cells that made up her mutagen had started to die off, her DNA rewiring and changing with the help of Tony and Shuri. She’d never again change into Diamond, never have metal like bones, she was 100% normal, humdrum human.

Happy reached out, grabbing hold of those metal fingers bringing them to his lips. She loved him despite what those long years had done to him. How old he’d gotten while she was the same. Y/n smiled shaking her head, he’d become quite the romantic since they saved the world. Never taking a day for granted. Never leaving the house without a kiss or telling her how much he loved and appreciated her. They danced in the kitchen while cooking dinner. Walks in the park and adventures in the playground with their daughter. Life had meaning again, he had hope, he had love.

“What did Tony say?” Juggling a squirming toddler in his lap, restless and eager to move.

“It’s good as can be until he comes up with something better,” Y/n chuckled flexing her metal fingers, rolling her shoulder. “You know how he is, can never leave anything alone. Always something better to be improved on.”

“Are my girls ready to go home?” He stood holding tight to his daughter. Watching her eyes darting around the city life.

“Yes,” his daughter’s tiny voice spouted. “This place is too noisy and Morgan didn’t want to play and Uncle Tony wanted to give me a candy but Auntie Pepper wouldn’t let him.”

“Aww, sounds like you had a rough morning sweetie,” Happy hid his smirk from his daughter as she pouted, her attention span now focused on a horse-drawn carriage getting ready to enter the park.

“I still can’t believe Tony gave us that land or had that house built. You never did tell me why he gets so weird when he sees me.” Lacing her fingers through his hand as they walked down the street.

“That’s a story for another time,” Happy smirked remembering the punch and Tony’s face as they lay on the ground.

“Ready for retirement?” Y/n whispered in his ear seeing the contented gaze in his eyes as they shifted her way.

“I’ve been ready since the day we met.”


End file.
